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Wow, so many people have already participated in this thread, whether through the poll or by comment. I appreciate how all of you have jumped in and offered your perspectives.
Noodle, I was hoping you would respond - for all that you and your guy have been through, I tend to think of you as a prime example of how a non-married-but-happy long-term relationship could work (Kramus and his lady are another great example).
Mixed Media - I was hoping you would respond since you've been through the wringer with marriage, I honestly thought that someone in your place would have given up on the concept all together. I like your comments about unrealistic expectations - both with entering a marriage and getting out of one, you have given me something to think about.
KirStang, I'd love to hear your thoughts on family law in regards to marriage. It's fun having the perspective of an unmarried person with an interest in such legalities.
Uncle Phil - Thanks for reminding me about second (and third and fourth, etc), and showing me that they actually can work. It seems like a common misconception (in the religious circles I tend to roam) that someone who chooses divorce would be incapable of making marriage work ever, that somehow they aren't wired for the level of commitment that a happy marriage requires. It makes me angry when I hear comments like this - there are a number of reasons for a first marriage to fail, many of which would not be indicators for future failure.
StanT, you and your sweetheart have undoubtedly been through a lot together in the past 30 years.
Here's a question that came to my mind, to be answered by Stan T, Uncle Phil, or anyone who has been married for an extended length of time... Have you found that in general she offers welcome support and companionship? Has there been a time when either of you have considered throwing in the towel, was there ever a clear time when you made a choice to stay together? Church-y marriage prep courses seem to stress the "choice" of remaining married, even so far as stating that you have to make that choice each and every day. Is that something you've encountered? The concept to me is insane - as though the person would be deciding to stay with something just because they made a commitment X years ago, and not because they are truly happy together. Sorry to ask such personal things, you don't need to respond... I'd just like less religiously-skewed picture of what it means to have a long and prosperous marriage.
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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq
"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy
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