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Old 07-13-2011, 10:41 PM   #21 (permalink)
ruoN
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Location: Vancouver
General advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by Remixer View Post
How I loathe when people don't adopt a zero-tolerance attitude to these kinds of things.

Her past may be a mitigating factor, but that does not excuse her act in any way, shape or form. The fact you are talking like this and looking forward to a future with her a mere month after it happened tells me a whole lot of things about you, the relationship dynamics and how you generally handle her.

Instead of drawing serious consequences, it looks a lot like you are simply trying to convince yourself and her that nothing will happen in the future. What were the circumstances in which she ended up fucking the other guy?

Basically, anything other than rape tells you that she didn't care enough to stay loyal to you. Cheating is not a "heat of the moment" thing. It's prolonged sexual activity involving touch, smell, kissing and, you're guessing it, fucking where one is fully aware the other person is not one's partner.

If she really had committed an unintentional mistake, at the VERY latest by the time her panties came off she should have stopped what was happening, as any truly loyal partner would do.

Besides, how on earth does her past connect at all with what happened? I realize most sexual abuse victims often suffer from depression, severe psychological problems, extreme mood swings, self-destructive behaviour and very, very low self-esteem. Should any of those aspects exist in your wife then there is all the more reason for you to be very aware of the risk that she will cheat again.

Maybe you were not treating her well lately, not paying enough attention to her, not listening to her worries and problems, or simply not good enough of a fuck for her; so she needed and found the company (arms, shoulders and penis) of another man. Motivation behind cheating hardly justifies any of it.

Yes, marine4582, I believe you easily forgive and forget, do not draw and implement serious consequences, and ipso facto are a complete push-over.

It should be obvious by now that I am a complete radical on these issues and do not tolerate any of the compassionate things some people like to say in these kinds of situations. Sorry for not being very friendly in my comment, marine.
I agree and would like to offer a general advice to men:

This is a mans world in the sense of responsibilities, some of you choose to live independent from their spouse and its a two way road that creates two equal opposing forces if your marriage/relationship is not polarized right.

A man need but must deserve respect, if your relationship or marriage is shaky investigate the possible OBVIOUS causes including YOU, and do not ever consider yourself untouchable or immune to wrong.

Build your confidence by raising your limitations, once you've tasted a higher level of satisfaction you don't wanna go back and that's achieved by healthy living and educating yourself about those things you're not so good at but would love to master.

Guys, once you reach a certain level of confidence you will learn that you never have to let anything control your emotions, strip your decisions from guilt tripping and keep your moral standards high.

The above gives you a good grip over any relation because you keep the women on her toes! Same applies to your other aspects of life like work and social life.




but you all know that already
ruoN is offline  
 

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