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Consider it overly simple, but time off from any sort of sexual/emotional (more than friends) relationship may help. Maybe a year. Maybe more. Big emotional incidents like the ones you've gone through can muddy things upstairs, and giving yourself a break may give you a chance to actually recover.
I second (or third) looking into counseling. See if you can find a counselor who's non-judgmental. Ask around.
Lonely? You will be. Spend more time with friends. Yes, it sucks, but you recover when you rest, and it sounds like you could use the break.
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