Quote:
Originally Posted by Remixer
You may call zero-tolerance on this issue silly, but I'd wager it hugely depends on how much one values and prioritizes loyalty. Age has nothing to do with any of it, but I can see how time made you succumb and adopt a more "reasonable" approach.
I suppose being loyal and honest to your partner is not part of the marriage vows. Your partner doesn't take them seriously, why are you? What is the meaning of one-sided fulfillment of the promises? Under the pretense of maturity, why is the responsibility, acceptance and forgiveness of the misdeed the duty of the other partner?
There isn't any worth to it and I wholly disagree on the notion that marriage requires you to throw out your values in order to make it work and be "mature" about it.
It may simply be the generation-gap speaking.
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I don't think it's simply a generation gap. Zero tolerance tends to be an idiotic concept from the get go (like...zero tolerance for butterknives in primary school).
When you're young and in college and surrounded by lithe co-eds it's easy to practice zero tolerance. In contrast, when you get older and have invested significant time, money, emotions, etc. etc. in to building a marriage, infidelity may warrant further investigation prior to calling it quits.
With respect to OP, I think both Plan9 and Unclear Content laid it out pretty well for you. The infidelity may be a symptom of marital problems. On the other hand, she could just love to screw new guys. If that's the case, don't let yourself be the next one to get screwed.