Quote:
Originally Posted by keymaker
Hi Poetry...first let me say I enjoy your posts and the energy you have. It is quite refreshing! Sorry to hear you have this issue it is a little unusual and I can see how it would worry you. Has there been any other "big issue" that has happened in your life either mental or physical?
|
Hehe, thanks. I'm a bit enthusiastic at times.
There was another big issue, I wasn't sure if I should mention it as it wasn't exactly on topic.
During the time I was dating my ex-fiancee, before the engagement, my father underwent a sleep study because he was constantly exhausted, even after a full night's rest. After the study, the doctor prescribed my father something to help him sleep.
He reacted badly to it. Already manic-depressive, it sent him into a growing manic episode that lasted about three months, cresting in December (2009). I had just moved back in with my family to go to school full-time (didn't happen after the incident). My mother had to flee the house, I had to sneak my sister and myself out at 4AM. He went crazy. Psychotic rages, rants, not sleeping. Got himself fired from his job. We couldn't call the police because of what he had been doing for a living. I had to take over, take care of my mom, my sister, sneak into the house to get clothes for them, never knowing if he would be there or not. He tore the house apart. We had to evacuate the cats so he wouldn't hurt them.
He started to collapse on Christmas Eve, so we were finally able to get him to a hospital. He still had the energy to rage, though, and to run. I had to put myself between him and my mother and little sister, not knowing what he would do to me. Making the choice to sacrifice him instead of them.
It was rough.
And, yes, it's possible that my dating anxiety and my father's incident are related. God knows I have more trust and general anxiety issues now than I did before it happened.
My head, it's really a tangle.
Kirstang,
I don't regret breaking it off with him. I -do- regret that I needed to. I regret that we couldn't work it out. It hurts that there were parts of his life that he would never change for me, knowing the damage such activities would do to me, emotionally. When he proposed, to convince me, he said he would give up certain things, make certain compromises. I was thrilled, amazed, and beyond shocked. I never asked him to change, only told him what I needed in a relationship.
But once I said yes, things went back to normal.
It's a bit disheartening to know that someone can tell you that they love you, that they want to spend the rest of their life with you, but not at the cost of unhealthy, unneeded activities.