Quote:
Originally Posted by Iforgiveyou
Well I recently found out that he he carrys a lot of guilt for hurting me forever ago. I told him that I forgave him a long time ago but I jus was wondering how to help him move on from the guilt he has and make him feel my forgiveness.
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This is where you're going wrong. It is not your responsibility to "help him move on".
4 years passed where there was no contact. This worked both ways, you wrote him letters you said, but he apparently did not respond. You initiated contact when you went to see the band, he did not contact you. Then it took him a month to email you. This does not sound like a person who is carrying the heavy weight of guilt toward you.
This sounds like a person who is trying to use your feelings against you to hold you in place. As long as you are trying to "help him" he can keep you in his life. But what you've forgotten is your life has gone on. You are married, have a child and that is where your focus needs to be. Not investing mentally and emotionally in another man "helping him". I understand your empathy toward the situation, but if you aren't careful you could lose the life you have now.
What the other man is feeling is regret, not guilt.
Tell him it was good to see him. You forgive him. The past is the past. Wish him well. Tell him you hope he finds all he seeks in life then say goodbye, forever. Go home, hug your child, kiss your husband and move forward, not backward.