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I guess your partner doesnt mind the idea - what about hers? Would you still just want a one night stand if it would result in her being single? She has been in a long term relationship - if neither has ever strayed then what damage will asking her do - certainly she could be offended - because you are asking her if she is up for cheating. She could be horrified if she thought she had somehow been leading you along when that had not been her intention.
Instead of asking her if she is up for same sex sex, perhaps you could introduce the subject by confiding in her that you have had a same sex fling - see what her reaction is - and dont be looking for what you want to see or are scared to see - be objective.
Be carefull - I dont think you want to damage or lose this friendship. Maybe you could just live with the fantasy and safeguard the friendship. If you did have a one nighter - dont you think it might change things anyway?
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