'Seducing' a female friend?? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

jonaMD · 06-10-2011, 07:27 AM

Hi ladies,

This is my first post in this forum, so please bear with me.

I'm in a heterosexual relationship but 'bicurious' and have had a couple of 'flings' with girls a long time ago, but nothing serious. Now I've got a new female friend who I really like and I think I've got a crush on her. She happens to be a lot older than me and is also in a heterosexual relationship. We get on really well and are on the same wavelength. I also find her really attractive and have started to imagine taking things further, just for one night if you know what I mean.

Of course I don't want to ruin our friendship and make her feel disgusted with me if I mention something and she doesn't feel the same way. I really can't tell if she feels the same way or if this isn't something she'd ever consider. I thought of having a few drinks and then asking her if she's ever been with a woman and if she says no I could ask her if she'd like to and see what happens. I could act like it was a joke if she is shocked. Or is that a bad idea? Can anyone tell me what's the best way to approach her?

I know I should probably just forget about it, but it's driving me crazy! And who knows, she might be totally up for it and feel the same!? (Yes, wishful thinking, I know!

)

Any advice ladies??

Mathilda · 06-10-2011, 05:53 PM

I'm always in favour of bit of girly action - BUT what does your SO think about this?
One night isn't ever worth risking a relationship on.
If there's any doubt there, just learn to enjoy the longing, that in it self can be delicious.

If your SO is ok with it, go for it.
Unless she's a real prune, she won't feel disgusted, more likely flattered even if she isn't interested.

chinese crested · 06-12-2011, 11:04 PM

I guess your partner doesnt mind the idea - what about hers? Would you still just want a one night stand if it would result in her being single? She has been in a long term relationship - if neither has ever strayed then what damage will asking her do - certainly she could be offended - because you are asking her if she is up for cheating. She could be horrified if she thought she had somehow been leading you along when that had not been her intention.
Instead of asking her if she is up for same sex sex, perhaps you could introduce the subject by confiding in her that you have had a same sex fling - see what her reaction is - and dont be looking for what you want to see or are scared to see - be objective.
Be carefull - I dont think you want to damage or lose this friendship. Maybe you could just live with the fantasy and safeguard the friendship. If you did have a one nighter - dont you think it might change things anyway?

06-10-2011, 07:27 AM	#1 (permalink)
jonaMD Upright Location: Australia	'Seducing' a female friend?? Hi ladies, This is my first post in this forum, so please bear with me. I'm in a heterosexual relationship but 'bicurious' and have had a couple of 'flings' with girls a long time ago, but nothing serious. Now I've got a new female friend who I really like and I think I've got a crush on her. She happens to be a lot older than me and is also in a heterosexual relationship. We get on really well and are on the same wavelength. I also find her really attractive and have started to imagine taking things further, just for one night if you know what I mean. Of course I don't want to ruin our friendship and make her feel disgusted with me if I mention something and she doesn't feel the same way. I really can't tell if she feels the same way or if this isn't something she'd ever consider. I thought of having a few drinks and then asking her if she's ever been with a woman and if she says no I could ask her if she'd like to and see what happens. I could act like it was a joke if she is shocked. Or is that a bad idea? Can anyone tell me what's the best way to approach her? I know I should probably just forget about it, but it's driving me crazy! And who knows, she might be totally up for it and feel the same!? (Yes, wishful thinking, I know! ) Any advice ladies??

06-10-2011, 05:53 PM	#2 (permalink)
Mathilda Upright Location: Finland	I'm always in favour of bit of girly action - BUT what does your SO think about this? One night isn't ever worth risking a relationship on. If there's any doubt there, just learn to enjoy the longing, that in it self can be delicious. If your SO is ok with it, go for it. Unless she's a real prune, she won't feel disgusted, more likely flattered even if she isn't interested.

06-12-2011, 11:04 PM	#3 (permalink)
chinese crested Insane Location: hampshire	I guess your partner doesnt mind the idea - what about hers? Would you still just want a one night stand if it would result in her being single? She has been in a long term relationship - if neither has ever strayed then what damage will asking her do - certainly she could be offended - because you are asking her if she is up for cheating. She could be horrified if she thought she had somehow been leading you along when that had not been her intention. Instead of asking her if she is up for same sex sex, perhaps you could introduce the subject by confiding in her that you have had a same sex fling - see what her reaction is - and dont be looking for what you want to see or are scared to see - be objective. Be carefull - I dont think you want to damage or lose this friendship. Maybe you could just live with the fantasy and safeguard the friendship. If you did have a one nighter - dont you think it might change things anyway?