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Valdearg · 06-08-2011, 03:15 PM

It takes a special mindset to do it. We've both known that we were sexually liberal from when we started dating. Getting into Swinging was kind of a gradual thing. At first, we just enjoyed taking pictures and showing off for people online, and when we started getting messages asking for threesomes/swapping, we kind of just laughed it off.

One day, when we were having sex, she asked me if I could use a toy on her while she sucked me. I asked if she liked the idea of being fucked while she sucked me, and she said she did. A while later, we were drinking with a few of her friends and they all had their shirts off. She started playing with one of her friends' tits, and jokingly asked if I could play, too. To my surprise, they both said yes. Next thing I know, we have our first threesome together. It was at that point that I suggested to her that, if she wanted, she could fuck our roommate (a guy), because I thought it would be hot. The rest was basically a progression from there.

We did, eventually, have a talk regarding it and set boundaries and basically said that if, at any time, either one of us felt uncomfortable, we'd both stop what we were doing. Respecting each others boundaries is really what it's all about.

As far as the mindset is concerned, I can understand why some people would get jealous, but I just don't feel it. Trust is a big factor in that. I know, in my heart, that we love each other and no matter who we play with or what we experience, she will always end up with me in the end. I trust her and she trusts me. We're both completely open and honest with each other regarding anything sexual, and we always check with the other person before making any decisions regarding any sexual encounters we might be having with someone else.

We've been together more than 4 years, have been married for 1.5 years, and have been swinging for almost 3 years, and I don't see swinging as a threat to our long term relationship as long as we remain honest and open with each other. If you lie, cheat, or do anything else to harm the trust your significant other has in you, you're in for a bumpy ride.

tl;dr: It was kind of a natural progression of things. Essentially, it was kind of felt out through half-joking comments and questions. "trial balloons", if you will. Above all, the most important thing to have when swinging is trust, and the most important rule to follow is to be completely honest with your significant other.

Edit: OH, almost forgot. The other rule that we personally follow is safe sex, always. If condoms aren't being used we won't play. The only exception to that is if the person we're playing with has been tested and is "monogamous" with us.

06-08-2011, 03:15 PM	#3 (permalink)
Valdearg Upright Location: Milwaukee, WI	It takes a special mindset to do it. We've both known that we were sexually liberal from when we started dating. Getting into Swinging was kind of a gradual thing. At first, we just enjoyed taking pictures and showing off for people online, and when we started getting messages asking for threesomes/swapping, we kind of just laughed it off. One day, when we were having sex, she asked me if I could use a toy on her while she sucked me. I asked if she liked the idea of being fucked while she sucked me, and she said she did. A while later, we were drinking with a few of her friends and they all had their shirts off. She started playing with one of her friends' tits, and jokingly asked if I could play, too. To my surprise, they both said yes. Next thing I know, we have our first threesome together. It was at that point that I suggested to her that, if she wanted, she could fuck our roommate (a guy), because I thought it would be hot. The rest was basically a progression from there. We did, eventually, have a talk regarding it and set boundaries and basically said that if, at any time, either one of us felt uncomfortable, we'd both stop what we were doing. Respecting each others boundaries is really what it's all about. As far as the mindset is concerned, I can understand why some people would get jealous, but I just don't feel it. Trust is a big factor in that. I know, in my heart, that we love each other and no matter who we play with or what we experience, she will always end up with me in the end. I trust her and she trusts me. We're both completely open and honest with each other regarding anything sexual, and we always check with the other person before making any decisions regarding any sexual encounters we might be having with someone else. We've been together more than 4 years, have been married for 1.5 years, and have been swinging for almost 3 years, and I don't see swinging as a threat to our long term relationship as long as we remain honest and open with each other. If you lie, cheat, or do anything else to harm the trust your significant other has in you, you're in for a bumpy ride. tl;dr: It was kind of a natural progression of things. Essentially, it was kind of felt out through half-joking comments and questions. "trial balloons", if you will. Above all, the most important thing to have when swinging is trust, and the most important rule to follow is to be completely honest with your significant other. Edit: OH, almost forgot. The other rule that we personally follow is safe sex, always. If condoms aren't being used we won't play. The only exception to that is if the person we're playing with has been tested and is "monogamous" with us. Last edited by Valdearg; 06-08-2011 at 03:18 PM..