james t kirk

Here's the first post that I've read till now that makes sense. Yay.

Here's another thought.......for every man cheating - guess what. He's cheating with a woman. So from a purely mathematical point of view, women cheat every bit as much as men. Oh, sure, you can poo poo it saying that there are prostitutes out there, and homewreckers, blah blah blah, but mathematically, it won't make that big of a difference on the overall numbers.

Myself, I was in a relationship in University where I totally adored my GF and never so much as flirted with another woman. I was much more black and white when I was in my early 20's. Ironically, she acused me of having several affairs. More ironically still, she ended up cheating on me.

As I got older, I started cheating on my female partners. Usually multiple times with multiple women. It wasn't that hard. It fucks with your mind the first time, but frankly later, it gets much easier. Didn't bother me in the least even. I was quite able to keep my lives compartmentalized.

Why did I cheat?

Cause I love sex and liked the variety. No bigger turn on than a new body, a new experience, a new everything. It's not because my relationship was good, bad, or indifferent. I've cheated because I like sex with different women. (Sort of like Fatal Attraction. Michael Douglas had a happy marriage, perfect wife, family, kid, sex life etc. But he cheats on his wife anyway. Why? Because it's there and he likes it. Simple as that.) Not saying this is always the case, not by any means am I saying that. But for me and all my friends who cheat- it largely is.

When I was in my 20's and 30's my sex drive was through the roof. Now in my 40's it has waned. Probably comes with age, or just plain boredom / amusement at it all. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm still good to go, and love sex just as much as ever. I just am not as obsessed with it as I used to be or persue it like I used to.

Also, as I've gotten older, infidelity is no longer a deal breaker for me. I encourage my current GF to have sex with other men if she wants to. (I'm a bit of a kinker that way and I love hearing about her past experiences. I am quite confident in my abilities in the bedroom, and outside of the bedroom. I figure if she wants to leave me flat out cold for another guy - well, OK. I can't prevent it really. I'm just myself now and if she feels there is better out there for her - then indeed there must be better and good for her.)

As I've gotten older, I have come to the realization that pretty much everyone cheats at one time or another. I accept this and I sleep better in this acceptance.