Hi Midnightskyline
I am very much with what Snowy says on this one. Yes, I understand you are curious, and you wish to delve into the content of those emails. Your offer to share details with people who PM you claim. Did you take any copies of those emails? If so, delete them. You've made it clear that you probably don't want to tell her about it, and that dealing with it in and by yourself is the a better course, but that you have an addictive personality, weak will and low self esteem.
Snowy's perspective gives you, imo, supports your preference, and gives you, I believe, a basis for action to test for the next week. Live the next week according to that perspective. Practice making it your own, minute by minute and thought by thought.
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You're not entitled to ask questions about what she does with her emails
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her personal space is her personal space--emails, voicemails, texts--unless she has given you permission to go into them.
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You are addictive, therefore glut yourself on this practicing this attitude. You have low self esteem, and you won't be making a fuss, you have weak will, so you'll just be keeping it to yourself. As you say, those qualities are issues for another time, and worth developing beyond, but for now, they ARE your tools. Embrace them and they will be your leverage.
Do all this in the knowledge that you can, all the while, become very curious and take detailed inventory, what it's like and how you feel doing this, now for a week. Replace your previous sense of 'what shall I do' with 'now I shall do this, and let's find out what's it like.'
You lose nothing by trying this. At the end of the week, you may choose to continue this, yet if you choose to ask different questions, your this week will have given yourself powerful resources as you seek the next answers, whatever you choose to confront or let go. For the more you make this about YOUR behaviours, the more you will understand your own thoughts and motivations, and thus be better informed as you decide wisely.
Best wishes