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There's an old friend of mine from high school that I stood by and let ruin his mind with drugs. It probably didn't help that we both did all that shit together.
I think about it sometimes, whether I should have done more, or could have done more. The answer is yes, but that's the thing with looking back, the view is both clear and cloudy, what you see clearly are just the things you want to.
There's a lot of things I wish I could have gone back and done differently in my life, there really are. But shit goes down and we each make our own choices in life and we each have to live with them after. When you balls to bones know you fucked up and the consequences of that are huge, it's impossible not to carry that weighed around for a while. But it doesn't mean life is over, at some point you have to dust yourself off and get on with your life, you still have the opportunity to make the next 5, 10, 20, 40 years of history in the making something you smile about when you look back on your past in the future. Depending on what spiritual persuasion you are, or just how you view life, there's a lot you can do to make up for your mistakes in life, and your mistakes don't define you, how you deal with them certainly will though.
Someone said this before, it's not that the weight ever really gets lifted, you just get stronger. I like that, there's an empowering journey contained in that, there's all the ingredients for living a full spectrum of life in that.
Wyvers, I wish you all the best man, you sound like the kind of guy who has the strength to take from that tragic experience what you can to make the rest of your life all the more better.
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You are not a slave
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