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Maybe its time Kates surviving friends got together to celebrate her life in some way. You didnt get to go to the funeral did you? I understand her family must have been in a lot of pain - to lose a child - its what every parent fears. Perhaps you could each write a memory of Kate, put it in a book of some sort - like a scrap book - share the stories with each other - a good ice breaker - then send it to her parents. I am sure it will mean a lot to them to know that their daughter was loved. I think maybe Kate would like that.
As to your guilt - unreasonable guilt is not abnormal - ever hear - 'If ifs and ands were pots and pans, I'd have a kitchen full'.
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