Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Long distance boyfriend has a new female best friend

chinese crested · 04-19-2011, 12:55 AM

'So NO ONE here thinks that what he's doing is a little disrespectful to me? I mean what about boundaries? He spends the night there almost every day and basically they do everything together from waking up, hanging out, work, and going to sleep. Doesn't anyone think that's excessive???'
I do think you are being disrespectfull to your boyfriends mate. She has welcomed you into her home and treated you with courtesy and consideration and kindness. She could have kept her bed and dumped the pair of you on the living room sofa with no privacy. I also think you are being disrespectfull to your boyfriend, who has not done anything erronious to your knowledge, by accusing him of having poor morals. I also think the problem is of your making.
You could always try the Hans Fritzel method of secure loving relationships - do you have a cellar?
Is your college women only? Do you ever sit near men in the library or the lecture room who share your interests? Are you constantly considering shagging them? What about girls you study with? How can he be sure you are not drinking from the hairy goblet? You are basing all this on an article you read on line somewhere - what was the proven reputation of its author? If I had slept with every man I met and worked with, I would be bow legged and unable to stop a pig in a passage. Why would this lady want a man who would screw around on his girlfriend - she would know if he would do it to you, he would do it to her - is she that stupid - doesnt sound like she is uncaring by her behaviour towards you. Sounds more like she is a loyal friend to him, and that she has tried to extend the hand of friendship to you. If you honestly think she is the slag you are painting her to be, you should certainly not accept her hospitality. To do so and then back stab her is very poor form dont you think.
Carry on with the suspicions and kill your relationship if you want to - if its worth so little.
Beware the dangers of becoming a bunny boiler.

---------- Post added at 12:55 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:51 AM ----------

I have close friends who I love, like chosen family. Why would I want to sleep with someone I consider sister or brother - that would be like mental incest wouldnt it. Why would your boyfriend want to mess up his head sleeping with a fellow soldier? Are you not worried about all the men he has closer contact with - the ones who get naked with him. Maybe he confides in some of them, maybe he is close to them.

04-19-2011, 12:55 AM	#54 (permalink)
chinese crested Insane Location: hampshire	'So NO ONE here thinks that what he's doing is a little disrespectful to me? I mean what about boundaries? He spends the night there almost every day and basically they do everything together from waking up, hanging out, work, and going to sleep. Doesn't anyone think that's excessive???' I do think you are being disrespectfull to your boyfriends mate. She has welcomed you into her home and treated you with courtesy and consideration and kindness. She could have kept her bed and dumped the pair of you on the living room sofa with no privacy. I also think you are being disrespectfull to your boyfriend, who has not done anything erronious to your knowledge, by accusing him of having poor morals. I also think the problem is of your making. You could always try the Hans Fritzel method of secure loving relationships - do you have a cellar? Is your college women only? Do you ever sit near men in the library or the lecture room who share your interests? Are you constantly considering shagging them? What about girls you study with? How can he be sure you are not drinking from the hairy goblet? You are basing all this on an article you read on line somewhere - what was the proven reputation of its author? If I had slept with every man I met and worked with, I would be bow legged and unable to stop a pig in a passage. Why would this lady want a man who would screw around on his girlfriend - she would know if he would do it to you, he would do it to her - is she that stupid - doesnt sound like she is uncaring by her behaviour towards you. Sounds more like she is a loyal friend to him, and that she has tried to extend the hand of friendship to you. If you honestly think she is the slag you are painting her to be, you should certainly not accept her hospitality. To do so and then back stab her is very poor form dont you think. Carry on with the suspicions and kill your relationship if you want to - if its worth so little. Beware the dangers of becoming a bunny boiler. ---------- Post added at 12:55 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:51 AM ---------- I have close friends who I love, like chosen family. Why would I want to sleep with someone I consider sister or brother - that would be like mental incest wouldnt it. Why would your boyfriend want to mess up his head sleeping with a fellow soldier? Are you not worried about all the men he has closer contact with - the ones who get naked with him. Maybe he confides in some of them, maybe he is close to them.