|
There is no right or wrong way to feel or deal with death and grieving. Take the leave and go see your grandpa would be my advice. It will be a hard day for him, and I am sure he would appreciate a loving arm to lean on - of course it may also be his last chance to give you words, to share thoughts, to learn more of who he is and was.
I handle death very badly. I went the unreasonable guilt route - the 'if only I had phoned when I thought I should' (2.30 am to a shared house), the others would have woken up, and he may not have burnt to death. Please, never ever fall asleep drunk on the sofa with a fag in your hand. I moved house - and I still called my dog in, so she knows where to find me when its time for me to join her again - I know she is looked after with love where she is. When dad died, I wanted to go out in the street and call his dog Toby in - dead for many years. When dad died I felt a shooting star going from earth to the sky - I was a couple of miles away and I felt the moment of his release, the final discharge of energy or whatever. I like to think he is with Toby now, over the rainbow bridge, and both have left the cares and pains of this world behind. As a stroke victim, dad was like a person trapped in a boarded up house - he could see out of the attic windows - he could have thoughts and wishes and dreams. He did not want to be there anymore. Maybe part of how we deal with death depends upon its manner, does death come in kindness sometimes and leave us gentle endings.
|