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Old 04-16-2011, 06:41 AM   #7 (permalink)
Cynthetiq
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That's really the simplified answer, because that's what we all helped spell out in this thread.

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-...r-parents.html

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cynthetiq View Post
People have been posting things about their parents here's some common answers and responses, in most cases they will apply to you who is griping about your situations.

Their house, their rules.
Don't like it? Get a job, get an apartment and get out.

They do things that I don't agree with.
Don't like it? Get a job, get an apartment and get out. See above rule

They don't treat me like an adult...curfew, rules, etc.
If you don't act like one, why should anyone treat you as such? If you need more clarification see Their house, their rules.

They promised they would pay for...
Your parents don't owe you anything especially once you've turned 18. You are considered an adult by the eyes of the government. Act like one.

My parents are doing...
You may not like it, you may not agree with it. But they deserve to do whatever they please even if you find it illegal, immoral etc. "Do as I say and not as I do" is a perfectly good and fair statement for them to say to you.

My parents did this to me when growing up.
Short of illegal things such as molestation and abuse, they did their best, sometimes they did crappy things, you are responsible for your life.


Common answers from our community of people who care:
  • Sorry to be blunt, but if you're going to as a large and opinionated group you're going to get varied advice. And you have to be prepared for advice you might not want. But if you're asking for it.... Well, you don't have much to complain about.
  • When you pay your own bills, in other words, take on the responsibilities of an adult, then you can say you're an adult. That means rent, car payments, utilities, food, insurance, loan payments, and credit card bills, among other things. Until then, you're only an adult from the point of view of the legal system.
  • Be careful what you ask for, you might get it. Paying for college isn't fun, paying for living expenses isn't fun. With total freedom comes responsibility. Responsibility isn't hanging out with your friends until all hours, responsibility is paying bills and putting a roof over your head.
  • Making the transition between "child" and "adult" requires a bit of an adjustment. Even after you've become self-supporting, getting your parents to treat you as an adult may take some effort on all your parts.
  • Maybe they aren't giving you the leash you want because you have not proven to them that you are mature enough to handle it.
  • Maybe you need to earn the privileges instead of demanding them.
  • Whether your parents work or not is none of your concern. That is based on an agreement between your parents.
  • Maturity is not based on the number of years on the planet.
  • Make sure that you do the math about living away from your parents as it seems like you are in the mode of breaking off relations with them. Life is very expensive, can you afford doing it alone?
  • If you are using their computer, they may be able to see what you write. So don't be stupid. Also, remember that they are your family, and we are people from the internet. You may like us more, but short of marrying us, we won't be family - and you'll be dealing with your parents longer than us.

Thank you to those who contributed in the various threads these kind and helpful words of wisdom. If someone would like to contribute more, please add it at the bottom and I will update it here.
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