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It's early days yet, but I have started to cut off contact, I am trying to concentrate on my career and I am considering talking to someone about it.
It takes a lot when you care about someone for a long length of time to look back and accept that they abused you, or took advantage of you, I guess it makes you feel humiliated, I used to hate it when people would criticise his behaviours because deep down I always believed he really did care about me and he would eventually grow out of the drugs and appreciate me.
I now accept that this was wrong, and whatever issues he has, with drugs, with his anger and resentment, they aren't mine to bear. I should be able to rely on my partner of choice, and not wake up each day wondering what mood he will take, and whether I'll ever be 'enough'.
Life is short, and it is precious, I am going to try very hard and take it one day at a time and work my way out of this situation. I can see a girl I know falling into the same pattern with her partner and seeing that, has helped me begin to accept things in my situation and vow to make a change.
If you do what you always did, you get what you always got.
Much love x
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"We make a living by what we get but we make a life by what we give"
Winston Churchill
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