Thanks for the response everyone, means a lot. I think noodle hit it with Cimarron29414's question. My friends and even myself for the longest time felt if I had just went with back to the crowd 'maybe' i could've watched her drink or maybe keep anything from happening. It would've been like any other night. She was fine before, it was something she took afterwards that caused it.
It amazes me how many people feel this sort of guilt. It's so easy to get wrapped up and play victim here or feel like you're the only one, but damn that feeling holds such weight it's overbearing sometimes.. I always found sitting down with a stranger trying to explain all of this doesn't really flow. I sort of tried once but nothing came out of my mouth right when I tried to air out my thoughts and explain everything. If anything it felt more awkward. Guess I gotta keep trying.
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