Welcome to TFP, Bitsoda.
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Originally Posted by bitsoda
So last night my girlfriend of two years confesses to me that she got on a stripper pole with her coworker friend and took off all her clothes. She assured me she did not cheat and I believe her with regards to that, but I don't know how to feel now.
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Do you really believe that she didn't cheat or is there some part of you that thinks she let some dude do her nasty? Is this the whole story? I'm not saying you're a liar or anything, but I just want to be clear that this whole incident was based on some
Girls Gone Wild activity and not some strapping young buck named Russell.
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Originally Posted by bitsoda
She's recently began interning at her new job and was invited out by her coworker for the first time since working there so she did not want to pass this up. It was meant to be a girl-bonding experience of sorts which is why I was not present. I've known this girl for eleven years as we were friends for nine years before we began dating. Needless to say I love her with every ounce of my being. She was the one and I have no qualms about saying that as I've dated a good share of girls in the past, but none of those relationships were like this.
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Hmm. Tell us more about this sleazy coworker and your girl's relationship with her.
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Originally Posted by bitsoda
We shared interests in comedy (Louis CK), music, video games, television (Firefly/Futurama for Christ's sake), food, etc. You name it, we shared an interest. Even more importantly was our sexual compatibility if you want to call it that. The best sex of my life was spent with this girl. Anyways, this is the hardest decision I've ever had to make. While she didn't cheat on me, she did put her body on display for a bunch of strange men in a drunken stupor with her vile coworker. This may sound silly to some of you, but her body is now less special to me. Knowing that she's not my girl and that others have seen it cheapens the experience for me. I can't even believe I'm typing that out -- I must sound like a conservative Muslim or something, but I'm just your average techie atheist.
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Let's talk about why you feel like her body is less special to you because others have seen it now. If your woman is a super hottie and is confident enough to show it to other people, shouldn't you be proud to have her? While exhibitionism to this degree is hardly what I'd call normal, it's part of the reason why Caribbean resorts where 40-something white women run around topless in thongs are so popular.
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Originally Posted by bitsoda
I've spoken to several close friends about the situation and they all tell me that, ultimately, I need to make the decision. I've weighed both choices and I can't find solace in either. If I dump her I'll be losing my best friend and essentially throwing away the past decade of dating and friendship with this girl. If I try to work things out and give her another chance I'll feel like a chump. I also don't want to have to worry or babysit her whenever she's out on her own. I don't want to be that guy. To make matters worse she drove out to the pier last night and contemplated suicide. Stunt or not, I reconciled her and told her we'd talk about it in the morning. Well, I slept on it and I'm still undecided.
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Have you talked to her about her motivation for doing this? What was her side of the story? When/how did she tell you?
The whole suicide thing is a major problem. If you don't doubt that "she's the one" and that she loves you, don't be a dick.
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Originally Posted by bitsoda
Gentlemen of TFP, in my shoes, what would you do or what do you think I should do if you were in my situation?
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Probably jizz in my pants. And then have sex with her and tell her how hot she is and how lucky I am to be the one that has her.
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Bitsoda, I get where you're coming from. I really do. How could she strip stark nekkid in front of drunken (and horny) strangers and flaunt what only you get to see? "No, that's mine!" Hell, when I was younger I was super overprotective of my girlfriends, too. I didn't like them mentioning their former lovers... hell, I didn't like them talking to other guys because I felt it was competition. I let go of all that drama and decided that I'm going to be the best partner I can and expect the same from them. 38 Special, those Southern Rock gods, had it right, man...
hold on loosely. If you're not okay with your girlfriend flashing her tits at random truck drivers for a laugh, you should probably reexamine how short life is and how that if you've really found "the one" that you know they won't do you wrong. Enjoy your youth together, enjoy your sexuality together... that shit is gone in a heartbeat.
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Dlish is also full of shit. He's hardly a conservative Muslim. He's a radical fundamentalist. I barely escaped our one encounter.
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I look forward to your response.