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I'll echo KirStang. Stop overthinking it. It is what it is and is perfect the way that it comes out as it is, even if it seems wrong.
It seems that you have a good amount of anxiety about your relationships. Why not give the anxiety a break and just let the relationship be what it is going to be as it unfolds?
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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.
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