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If writing it all out will help you to feel better then go for it.
I've been there - I am there: alone after having given way too much in hopes of that seemingly inevitable payoff and Happy Ending which never ever came. Feeling like a fool for living as a doormat and loving away all of your confidence and self-respect. Knowing how easily it could've worked if he only cared to give a tenth of the effort, trust and love that you put into it.
But that's not love and you know it. This is simply the price you pay for repeatedly pretending as if you didn't already know better and demanding to have what you wanted regardless of how much sense it makes.
You'll get over all of this once you decide to get your confidence back and make a new life for yourself. Plan's advice is a good place to start - feel free to sub out the sex with a new wardrobe or a new haircut. Throw yourself headlong into what you love, busy yourself with exercise, discover new interests and pick up old passions you've let go.
Once you accept that while the inescapable sadness is natural, it is in more ways than not, just an extension of the same old refusal to accept the obvious and necessary that got you here.
Good luck.
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"Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian
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