You need to get away from this person.
They have far too much control over you.
Here is my motivation for offering this advice:
You mention that you dislike confrontation and conflict. This is not an unusual place to be. In fact, I find it a rather noble way of life. I admire people who are able to skirt conflict and deal with life while avoiding violent responses. I wish I had this predilection, instead I have a nasty temper that I strive to keep in check (my husband is a saint).
Apparently this person has shown a history of losing their temper in a dramatic fashion. They call you names, become hysterical, and will not listen to you even if you plan your words carefully in advance and use a reasonable tone of voice. No matter how hard you try, this person will not let you win. If they are likely to respond in the fashion you have described, you should get out of this situation as soon as possible. If this person is at your workplace, find a new job. If it is a family member, cut ties. If this is a relationship, get out. Seek out a local women's aid organization (I assume you're a woman) if you are seemingly trapped by your financial ties to this person. Forget about the question that they want answered. Get out now. Don't feel obligated to explain.
Snowy offers some good advice when dealing with approaching difficult topics in conversation. Dlish offers excellent advice when it comes to sharing the truth. WhoaitsZ offers personal perspective. But don't gloss over Kirstang's questions. Is this person abusive? Are they controlling? Perhaps you don't really view them this way, but your words here tell me that they are.
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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq
"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy
Last edited by genuinegirly; 03-17-2011 at 01:36 PM..
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