THINGS NOT TO DO
- Let yourself get sucked into some kind of Internet-Only romance. If it isn't moving to real life, it's a bigger waste of time than PlayStation.
- Tell someone you've never met in real life that you love them. That's best reserved for Hollywood, Lifetime and Harlequin novels.
...
THINGS TO DO
Here's your
plan:
- Forget about chat rooms, IMs, etc. The only time you should be talking to a woman through a computer is to meet her offline.
- Focus on developing yourself as an individual using the patented it-works-for-fat-smelly-WoW-nerds SomethingAwful.com Method:
Exercise (all the girls want to see your six pack abs), Hobbies (have something to do with yourself aside from masturbation), Friends (other humans).
- Disregard Eden's disgusting fascination with bowel movements. I'm never going to be able to hang out with him and Cinn now.
- If you've correctly focused on yourself, women may just start finding you. If not, proceed to the next step when ready.
- Put yourself out there online using online dating sites such as OkCupid and PlentyOfFish. Local girls you can see.
- Forget about talking to women online, instead schedule meetings in real life with as many as you can.
- Acquire (date) women (er, woman) based on things that happen in real life.
- Don't go anywhere near the "L" word for at least six months.