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Gman · 06-16-2003, 08:50 PM

Normally I just lurk around here, but this particular event caused me to want to seek some outside insight.

Here's the setup. I am your average 18 year-old guy. My best friend is a 18 year-old girl who doesn't smoke, drink, or swear. Much like me... except swearing

I'll admit I have feelings for her, but I'm not acting on them right now. I've acted on my feelings for her before and it only turned into a whole lot of awkwardness for a good 3 months. College is coming up and pretty much all of the friends we have are leaving the city, leaving just the two of us alone. She had a mild seizure earlier in the year so she can't drive, leaving me the driver once school starts. We also scheduled our classes together to make it easy for me to bring us both to school everyday. You can picture how awful 3 months of awkwardness being that close to each other every day would be if I told her how I felt. So it's better for me to remain the loyal friend until we're not forced together anymore.

Now that you kind of understand who we are, here's the situation. I was talking to her online and she was telling me about a guy she was talking to. Here's the conversation since it's probably better if you read it yourself:
HER: neway, this other guy IMed me about a week ago, he's great!
HER: just...
HER: he's 23
ME: wow
ME: that's kinda not cool
HER: he just got outa the air force, which is impressive in itself, and he doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't like to curse, he's gonna go to school in the spring to be a math teacher!
HER: and he's cute
HER: Josh (old boyfriend, dated when he was 20 and she 17) just turned 21!
HER: look at Friend of Our's dad, eww that's just gross, at least it's not that bad
ME: still, he's 23
HER: so what?
HER: do u understand how hard it is to find a guy like taht???
HER: well I hope not!
HER: but it's hard!
ME: Ahem, like I've been saying to all of you for a while. That's me :-)
HER: but u're ME
ME: but really, you and Josh were acceptable... 17 and 20 is borderline okay. But 18 and 23?
ME: don't remind me
HER: it's only 6 years!
HER: Erica's dad just turned 41 and his fiancee's 25!!!! so don't talk to me about age!
ME: Hey, hey calm down.... I'm trying to talk to you as a friend here
HER: yeah I know
HER:

HER: well I'm goin to bed. I'll ttyl.
HER: g'nite
HER: lata
ME: Nite!

So where does everyone stand on this? Am I right in thinking that a gap in age that big for someone just starting college and having one boyfriend is wrong, or do you think maybe my feelings are clouding my head a bit and it's perfectly okay?

06-16-2003, 08:50 PM	#1 (permalink)
Gman Insane Location: Down South In Louisiana	Age Difference? Normally I just lurk around here, but this particular event caused me to want to seek some outside insight. Here's the setup. I am your average 18 year-old guy. My best friend is a 18 year-old girl who doesn't smoke, drink, or swear. Much like me... except swearing I'll admit I have feelings for her, but I'm not acting on them right now. I've acted on my feelings for her before and it only turned into a whole lot of awkwardness for a good 3 months. College is coming up and pretty much all of the friends we have are leaving the city, leaving just the two of us alone. She had a mild seizure earlier in the year so she can't drive, leaving me the driver once school starts. We also scheduled our classes together to make it easy for me to bring us both to school everyday. You can picture how awful 3 months of awkwardness being that close to each other every day would be if I told her how I felt. So it's better for me to remain the loyal friend until we're not forced together anymore. Now that you kind of understand who we are, here's the situation. I was talking to her online and she was telling me about a guy she was talking to. Here's the conversation since it's probably better if you read it yourself: HER: neway, this other guy IMed me about a week ago, he's great! HER: just... HER: he's 23 ME: wow ME: that's kinda not cool HER: he just got outa the air force, which is impressive in itself, and he doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't like to curse, he's gonna go to school in the spring to be a math teacher! HER: and he's cute HER: Josh (old boyfriend, dated when he was 20 and she 17) just turned 21! HER: look at Friend of Our's dad, eww that's just gross, at least it's not that bad ME: still, he's 23 HER: so what? HER: do u understand how hard it is to find a guy like taht??? HER: well I hope not! HER: but it's hard! ME: Ahem, like I've been saying to all of you for a while. That's me :-) HER: but u're ME ME: but really, you and Josh were acceptable... 17 and 20 is borderline okay. But 18 and 23? ME: don't remind me HER: it's only 6 years! HER: Erica's dad just turned 41 and his fiancee's 25!!!! so don't talk to me about age! ME: Hey, hey calm down.... I'm trying to talk to you as a friend here HER: yeah I know HER: HER: well I'm goin to bed. I'll ttyl. HER: g'nite HER: lata ME: Nite! So where does everyone stand on this? Am I right in thinking that a gap in age that big for someone just starting college and having one boyfriend is wrong, or do you think maybe my feelings are clouding my head a bit and it's perfectly okay?