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Perhaps she should consider seeing a sex therapist, maybe you could even go with her. You may think that if shes not comfortable talking to you about it, that she won't be comfortable talking to a shrink. This may not be the case. Talking to a stranger, who you know won't judge you, won't use what you say against you later in an argument, and is bound by an oath not to tell anyone else, can be very cathartic.
If you can't suggest such things to her with out it causing problems, that is a problem. Marriage counseling is useful for many aspects of marriage. Sex is important in a relationship. It bring intimacy and hell, it helps relieve some stress. She needs to at least know and understand how you feel about the issue. Maybe there is something you are missing that needs to be addressed. All the blame cannot fall solely on just one of you, you share this and it should be worked on as a couple.
Best of luck.
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Frivolity, at the edge of a Moral Swamp, hears Hymn-Singing in the Distance and dons the Galoshes of Remorse. ~Edward Gorey
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