Starkizzer

First: obligatory "talk to her!" Ask her why she does these things.

Second:

I am submissive, to a degree. If I don't want to do something, I won't do it. Simple as that. However, some people who are exploring their submissive sides are also still unsure of how submissive they are comfortable being. It may take time to build up to it. Perhaps she senses that you don't have faith in your Dom abilities. If she feels like you are phoning it in, she can easily get turned off to the idea. You dominating her is still a sex act, so just like if you would be turned off if it felt she was phoning in her enthusiasm for a blow or some other sex act, she may be shutting you down when you are "telling" her what to do.

Again, talk to her. If she is serious about you dominating her, even if only in the bedroom, and she is serious about being submissive to you, then you need to find out what all she wants and expects. There are resources at your disposal for you to learn how to be a better Dom. However, some people just do not have that personality or think they have that personality. I am not submissive anywhere but in the bedroom, try to tell me what to do in my everyday life and I will give you the "WTF look". Hubby, is not one who is good at making decisions or being demanding in everyday life, but he is awesome at it in the bedroom.

Just think about it and talk to your wife. That is all you really can do.

__________________
Frivolity, at the edge of a Moral Swamp, hears Hymn-Singing in the Distance and dons the Galoshes of Remorse. ~Edward Gorey