So here's my dilemma:
I have a boyfriend and we've been dating for over 3 years. Last night he confessed something to me- that a while ago he went into my roommate's room when nobody was home, looked through her computer for nudes and jerked off right there to a few different topless pictures of her. He said he had done this nearly a year ago, tried it again after she got a new computer (but was unsuccessful) and had also gone through my other roommate's computer for topless pictures as well (again, unsuccessful)!
Maybe I should also mention this guy recently admitted to spending several months jerking off on Chatroulette nightly, and creating a secret skype when a girl he knew several years ago once offered to strip for him online (he initiated contact and cyber nudity twice...or so he says).
A few months ago he apparently realized he was treating me terribly by lying to me so much and wanted to come clean about EVERYTHING. Since then he has been admitting to a whole slew of awful things I never would have known about or suspected, besides what's stated above. It's still been difficult, but I've been trying to forgive him for it all because 1) He came to me with the truth, and told me about what I never would've known, 2) I recognize there were no emotional attachments or actual physical contact with any of these other situations, 3) Because what hurt most that was the betrayal of trust, the lies and the fact that he was sneaking around, and 4) Since being open and honest with each other we've felt close in a way we've never been able to before and for once we actually trust each other...well, he says he trusts me (go figure, he says he was always afraid I would cheat on him and was scared to really commit and trust me, but that was probably just the guilty paranoia talking in his head).
Now, I have no problem with porn, or masturbating, or knowing he found my roommates attractive, but I'm very hurt, and shocked by his blatant disregard of privacy. Did I mention both of these girls are HIS friend's girlfriends?! I'm horrified and disgusted by this because it seems like such a creepy perverted thing to do by going through their things, but also because he just couldn't act all of this out in his mind or maybe pick any other two girls in the world OTHER than my friends and roommates?
I should state we have a great, experimental, spontaneous sex life, and I know that this doesn't have anything to do with that and I appreciate that he told me, but it still hurts. Am I being absurd here or is this as messed up as I think it is? Or am absurd for staying with him? Please be honest, but not horribly harsh, I'm still a little hurt.
**Edit: The girl he knew several years ago initiated contact- she offered to show him her boobs, he didn't say no. She later offered to show more, he again didn't say no. On their last chat, she asked to see him, he didn't say no. Not that this information, really makes any difference.