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mia, I feel your pain. I am going through something very similar right now, but with my husband's mother. Hate is not a pleasant emotion and I'm finding it's very draining. Counseling is not in my budget, but hopefully you can swing it. I don't have any words of advice, but if you would like someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.
My mother is an alcoholic and it took me a long time to move past the terrible things that happened in my childhood, but I did manage to move past them. I never had formal counseling, just talking about it with friends, relatives, and my husband, but my informal sessions were very helpful.
I noticed you mentioned being civil. I think that's a good place to start - ugliness doesn't help and will most likely only make things worse. Good luck.
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"They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king"
Formerly Medusa
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