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I feel so sorry for you. You are in an awful situation through no fault of your own. But if you truly want your father to be able to change and recover from his addiction, then you cannot draw away from him. He needs your support and love. It may be one of the hardest things you ever do in life, but it may well bring you rewards you cannot imagine.
As a recovering alcoholic, and the son of a non-abusive alcoholic, I know how hard it can be for your father, and how alcohol can affect a family. Try Al-Anon. It is a wonderful organisation, and the support it will give you will be invaluable in your life, no matter what your relationship with your father is/becomes.
Good luck, and try facing this one day at a time... it usually makes things easier.
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The secret to great marksmanship is deciding what the target was AFTER you've shot.
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