-mia

so my father is an abusive alcoholic asshole. what a pathetic cliche. about three weeks ago he took things too far and the police got involved. I haven't seen him since. hes going to court tomorrow and he will most likely be coming home. hes getting help (therapist, anger management and rehab) I'm scared that all of a sudden he's going to be different. he'll be someone i dont even know. don't get me wrong i want him to get the help he needs and change, but im worried that im too bitter to let it all go. im worried ill be detrimental to his getting better because i wont be able to go along with it. im worried hes going to act like we're a happy family all of a sudden. my plan is to be as ive always tried to be civil and understanding but i cant be anything more than that. knowing him hell take it personally adn itll go wrong.
forgiving him is the hardest thing ive ever tried doing, its not just mental for me. it feels like the hardest thing ill ever have to do. i keep making silly excuses to justify it but i just cant let go.
what should i do? or just some advice, just something.