I wrote this up recently. It's a rough draft of the first chapter of a novel I've been developing for years now (you can read the short and snappy, but poorly written version of the whole thing over
here, though I don't recommend it). Some critique would be awesome.
I'm not sure about posting the whole thing, since formatting nearly 3,000 words on the forum is kind of a pain, so I've attached the file, which also features the opening to the second chapter. (And yes, I will be changing the format if I send it to a literary agent. I just like the way it looks. It's pretty.)
Right now the only changes I'm seriously thinking about are removing several author references and extend the final scenes and revelation.