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In previous relationships, I have done simultaneous masturbation with my partner. But my wife isn't much of a masturbator: she has nothing against it, she just swears it doesn't do much for her.
We have plenty of great sex, but I also enjoy masturbating on my own. My wife knows about this, and has no problem with it, though she likes to tease me about it from time to time.
Sometimes my wife's not in the mood, or sometimes we're just not in the same mental space at the same time, or we're apart because one of us is gone for business, and we also don't have sex while she's on her period, for religious reasons. So during those times, I masturbate. Happily. Frequently.
Doesn't mean I want my wife less. I love having sex with her. But for me, it's an apples-and-oranges experience. Sex is about being with my wife, sharing ourselves with each other, being in the same moment and headspace together, feeling good together, being there for one another. Masturbation is about me: fantasizing, making myself feel good, just for shits and giggles. There's a good reason, IMO, that it's called playing with yourself.
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Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.
(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)
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