Quote:
Originally Posted by jaxslvrsn1
yeah, before her I was actually fine being alone, I guess once I'm in a relationship I just don't want to be alone. weird =/ ...ah well
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Hi Jaxslvrsn, I've had a chance to sleep on it
And Oh DANG ... I've had a chance to read your update, so I am editing [in italics] this post to take account of it:
That sense of your actually being fine alone - you can remember that.
Can you remember how that sense of actually being fine alone was when you'd just met her, and BEFORE you were 'in a relationship' with her? That time when you're actually alone and feeling fine just as she is right in front of you - a future friend?
When you next sit at the table with this lady,
or with some other, all the above - your actual sense of fine aloneness - and sharing it, is every bit as important as your feelings for her, texting, telephone, journeying, and the way you quite rightly want good things for her and you both.
I'll guess that the 'you' she first liked was the 'you who are fine being alone'; and that 'You who've done lots of nice things for her' is a guy she's appreciated, but is only half the package; looking to your future, I speculate that your combining the good guy you are when you're alone with the nice guy you are with her recently, is the guy any girl could have a better chance of getting to know you properly.
Reality check: She will, in addition, have her own reasons, her own angles, which, like you, shes dealing with in herself, and maybe with friends and forum buddies. Each of you a mystery to the other until both of you put more cards on the table.
An Updated Reality Check: as long as there's not specific stuff you've said or done to piss her off ... like hammering her email or phone (you've not done that have you?) ... then her extreme hot/cold attention/avoidance of you is dang rude. Kind of reminds me of me, my mates, and the young godesses at the nearby girls' school. We werent half clumsy young buggers.
In both cases, I reckon now is the right time to have a think how Mr 'I'm actually fine being alone' and Mr 'I just don't want to be alone' may get to know each other better and work well together at this special time - a strong balance for all this and any relationship you can imagine in the days and weeks to come.
Take care and best wishes