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Old 01-06-2011, 08:57 PM   #18 (permalink)
MSD
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Ah, you caught my post before I cut the speculation about you meeting while young and inexperienced, good to see my spidey senses are still on target.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Calypso15 View Post
At this point I just think he's disgusting in appearance. He is just not attractive to me anymore. That makes me shallow oh well.
You're not shallow, you're just human. He has made himself physically and emotionally unattractive to you. It doesn't sound like there's any love left on your part, but I'll still tell you what I say to anyone who's being abused in a relationship: It's not love, it's Stockholm Syndrome.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Calypso15 View Post
One last note, I spoke with him about our issues and asked him for a separation. He didn't agree, but said, "If we divorce at least it will be amicable."
That's great. It'll be easier on the kids, you can still get along like civilized adults, and he just gave you even more proof that he's a an abusive scumbag. "But it sounds like he's trying to be mature about it," you might say? He's not.

Abuse, verbal, physical, or emotional, is about control. He's the abuser. you're the victim. Him saying "we can still be friends" is about making you look like the bad guy if you don't want to stay on good terms; it's his last ditch attempt to maintain some control over you after you leave him. Don't give him the satisfaction of maintaining any control over you.

If the kids are minors, fight for custody and explain the situation to them honestly. If they stay with him, he will do everything he can to poison their opinion of you and make you the bad guy because that's what controlling people do when they lose control. Don't try to make him the bad guy in their minds, but give them honest answers if they ask.

edit: more thing going back to the original question - if you can't laugh at a queef during sex, you and your partner aren't having enough fun. Go find someone you can enjoy sex with enough that you can laugh and carry on if it happens.

Last edited by MSD; 01-06-2011 at 09:05 PM..
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