Quote:
Originally Posted by MSD
Take a step back. I read your questions, I read the responses, and there's a much more pressing issue than air in your vagina.
You are married to ...
a fat, stubborn, selfish, asshole ...
... who is trying to convince you to make lifestyle choices that significantly increase your chance of serious health issues or death for one or more of the following reasons
-to fit the aesthetic he finds pleasing
-to make him feel better about himself in comparison
-to make you less attractive to other men so there's less chance that you'll leave him for someone else
and you are not only accommodating him, you're compromising your own enjoyment for the sake of his.
This is not a healthy relationship. Not only are you not satisfied, you are unhappy in large part because you are being emotionally abused by a fat, stubborn, selfish asshole who doesn't even pretend to give a shit about how you feel. He needs professional mental and physical help and you need to get him out of your life.
The most you should be giving him is an ultimatum that if he doesn't try to make his own life better and treat you as an equal in your relationship, you're going to divorce his ass and find someone you can enjoy life with while he wallows in his misery until one day he has a heart attack and the paramedics have to wait for the fire department to cut open a wall because he can't fit through the door. But that shouldn't be your problem, and in the unlikely case that he does get his life back on track and manages to become the person you fell in love with, you can always try again and sell the movie rights to Lifetime.
|
You're absolutely right, we met when I was young. He is 2 years younger than I am though. We have been with each other since high school graduation. Now in our mid thirties things just aren't the same. People do grow apart. We have two kids one will be leaving the nest this May. Our baby will leave the nest in about 6 years. Our problems have been ongoing and have only gotten worse because of his ability to stick with it.
We are on our last leg here. I brought up the vaginal air because it's just one more thing I would like to avoid when having sex since it's embarrassing. It wasn't a problem prior to his weight gain and only got worse as he gained weight.
I agree with you on the fact that he likely wants me to be a fatty so I will be less attractive to the opposite sex and will increase the probability of me sticking around. I've stuck it out for 13 years. I'm not sure why it's taken me so long to realize it but if he is looking out for his needs...and willing to discount me this is absolutely not healthy.
One last note, I spoke with him about our issues and asked him for a separation. He didn't agree, but said, "If we divorce at least it will be amicable." I gave him until the end of the month to leave, and he's making no effort. He is making very subtle efforts to show me he is interested in me. At this point I just think he's disgusting in appearance. He is just not attractive to me anymore. That makes me shallow oh well. It's better he move on to make a choice to improve his health or continue on the path of destruction.
Thanks for your input!
