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Originally Posted by Cynthetiq
I always ask the person asking for the contact for their contact information since that is who I can get permission immediately. I then forward that information to the target person and let them know they are being asked to contact the requester.
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I am not admin in any forums, but this is the policy I adopt online and offline. "May I have blah bla's phone number please?" "Sure - give me yours and I'll pass it on for them to get back and give it to you personally." Outside of demonstrabley emergency situations with 'contact immediatley' priority, I'm not going to mindread people's decisions.
Sometimes the response is "Aw heck, you should have just given them my number ... it's OK." In which case I remember that explicit permission as it pertains to them.
If I make a mistake, I'd rather it be of mindreading 'no' than 'yes'. The underlying principle I support is that of 'opt in' rather than 'opt out'.