Todd123

This is extremely embarrassing but I don't know whats wrong with me and I am in need of serious help. First post here, but you guys/gals here seem really open minded so Id appreciate any advice you can give.

I'm 23 with little sexual experience. Before September I've had sex twice both didn't go so well. Because of this I have avoided getting into a relationship for some time. In September I met a girl and since then we've become really close and have attempted and had sex many times, however every time I have failed to perform well. When we first started I just failed to get sufficiently hard for long enough to penetrate. I rarely am able to get hard with her and the rare times I do it'd go away after about thirty seconds when we attempt to have sex. We've tryed tons of positions, + oral/hand, but nothing seems to work. Finally we were able to have sex but it takes me forever to get hard and alot of times I need to do most of the work (with lube). We've had sex tons of times but its never been really good for me or her. It seems like the only way to get hard when I am with her is to get to a point where I am really close to ejaculating. This makes me either release really early or lose it when I am inside her. Its extremely frustrating for both of us. Often when I wake up in the middle of the night with her Im hard as a rock, we try to have sex but it seems as soon I we try I start to lose it and I cant get it in time, if I do I usually just go soft inside her. My normal erections (when watching porn or even reading something sexy) are much stiffer and usually get hard in like 15 seconds.

Besides the sex the relationship is really amazing and were really close and comfortable with each other but I just cant seem to get over this. She loves sex and I really just want to enjoy an physical relationship with her. I really love her and she's told me she'd stay with me through this which I am really grateful for. But I know she is getting extremely annoyed.

Almost every reason has crossed through my mind but I honestly just dont know whats wrong with me or what to do. Sometimes I think porn's messed up my mind, but I really do find her attractive (obviously she doesnt compare to a porn star but neither does 90% of the population).
I'm going to start exercising, eating better, and not watch any more porn/jerk off (which I actually find really difficult - needed a blocker for this), but I don't know if this will do it.

I really do not want to go to a doctor and definitely not a therapist but I just feel lost. Please if anyone has any advice on what I could do, let me know. I almost willing to do anything now (besides therapy).