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This article doesn't provide a lot of information about how the child was punished or disciplined, other than she was sent to her room after an argument with her mother.
First off, I don't agree with just sending a child to their room. As I have emphasized elsewhere, a conversation needs to occur. What did the child do wrong? How can they fix their behavior? Personally, I think this incident was probably more along the lines of punishment, as the article suggests that the mother raised her voice at her child. I suppose my perspective is colored by my own experience as a teacher of small children--when I discipline children, I cannot yell at them or physically intimidate them in any way, as that is against my professional ethics.
Secondly, children do desire boundaries, rules, and order. Children want routine. Mondays are always the worst days at work because children have spent a weekend out of their routine--sometimes WAY out of their routine. You can always tell when a kid spent their weekend doing something where their routine was thrown out the window. Parents complain to us at work all the time about various stuff: "Why can you get my kid's coat on but I can't? Why can you get my child to nap and I can't? Why does my child eat certain foods here that they won't eat at home (i.e. fruits and vegetables)?" The usual explanation is that we don't give in to a child as easily as their own parents do--if we say they can't have seconds of the main course of lunch until they try their apples, we mean it. When it comes to coats, we explain that we're going outside where it's cold and we can't go outside without a coat, and we put it on whether the child wants it or not. I've got one kid who used to throw an absolute fit when it came to putting on his coat to go outside, but after a week of intensive explanation of why we need coats and the teachers insisting on the coat, he now goes over to his cubby and points to his coat when it's time to go outside, saying "coat, coat, coat." This same child still gives his parents difficulty with the coat issue. When it comes to naps, our kids nap for us because we follow a strict routine and use cues (lights off, particular music CD on) to let them know it's time to sleep.
They are ready for a conversation at any age. Whether or not they understand the entire conversation isn't entirely relevant--think of it as a vocabulary building exercise when they're young. Also, young kids understand more than you think they do. Break it down into the simplest terms possible. I am able to sit down with 2-year-olds and ask them what is wrong with the situation. An example would be that I have a couple of kiddos with burgeoning vocabularies who often forget to use their words to solve problems, instead resorting to crying. When I sit down and ask them what went wrong, they are typically able to reply (telegraphically): "Use my words." If they aren't that advanced, I'm able to say, "Did you use your words?" "No." "Next time, should you use your words?" "Yeah." Using words to solve problems is an expectation I have for most kids 2 and up. Below that, I intervene. I will talk to them about the situation, what went wrong, and what should change for next time, but I don't expect a reply. Honestly, though, I am often surprised by what kids between the ages of 1-2 understand.
I don't think you should expect to really establish discipline other than saying no and explaining why you said no before the age of 2. There are some positive discipline tricks that work really well ages 1-2, such as redirection (moving the child to a different activity). At that age, it really depends on the child. I think what often happens is that parents either have no expectations of their child, or they have unreasonable expectations. The key is to have developmentally appropriate expectations--and what those expectations are depends on where a child is developmentally. I have a 22 month old with a great vocabulary and high understanding--my expectations are higher for him than they are for the 22 month old who has not reached that point yet.
Executing positive discipline is a skill set, and it is a skill set I'd like to see more people cultivate. I know it's hard for some people to believe, but children can be taught how to behave without the use of fear, intimidation, or corporal punishment. I see it in action every day.
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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau
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