Quote:
Originally Posted by snowy
As an aside, Xerx...you really really need to stop this. You're probably actually making things worse. There's a difference between disciplining a child appropriately and punishing them. Punishment is bad; over time, it will make your niece fear you, and it may even make her more of a liar in order to avoid the punishment she knows is coming. You need to ensure a child UNDERSTANDS why they are in trouble--you sit down and talk with them. "Hey, so you did A, why did you do A? Why don't we do A? What are the consequences of doing A?" Yes, you give time outs, but you make clear that a time out is meant as a period in which they can think about their choices, their actions, and the consequences. A time out should also be no longer than their age; beyond that and it really isn't doing you any good. It's just fostering resentment and not encouraging them to think about the problem.
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After the last two time outs, she doesn't lie to me. She still does to her mom and my mom too, but not me. She understands I take it seriously and it's the only thing I impress upon her. I expect kids to break things and hurt themselves. That's normal, so I only punish her for things she understands is wrong and probably shouldn't repeat and that includes lying.