Just playin' a bit of devil's advocate. Check it out from a slightly different angle.
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Originally Posted by nabbers;2850582.
she bought a house 2 doors away from my daughters school and has made it like a shrine to my kids, she has a bedroom for my daughter and pictures of her everywhere and makes all kinds of excuses to get my wife to call in with my daughter after school.
She often collects my daughter and she is now friends on facebook with all the other mothers and she seems to like looking really efficient at everything whilst meking my wife more and more inept.
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It's not all that unusual for family members to want to live near family. Could be that was the house that was available in her price range when she was looking to buy.
Your use of the word shrine may be extreme. Many families are extremely close and their nieces, nephews and grandkid's photos all around are not all that extraordinary.
Many people have a spare or guest room. She may have made it clear that your daughter is more than welcome to spend the night.
Up until this point, things appear okay. Asking your wife to keep her out of school? Not okay. If your wife allows this and it's turned into an argument between the two of you, a third party or mediator may need to get involved. Something like an intervention that wouldn't make them defensive so that they can see that taking her out of school is not a smart decision.
Friends on FB? No biggie. But how is she making your wife look inept? If this is so, why would your wife side with her? What does your wife say when you have a calm and rational discussion about your feelings here? There seems to be more going on here than stated in your OP.
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So I googled her symtoms and came up with Histronic Personality disorder and I told my wife and she told her and now she hates me even more because she now thinks i'm making stuff up about her.
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What noodle said. No one likes being labeled, especially by someone who's shown such clear dislike of them.
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It fits perfectly, she's had an abortion, been raped twice, had inappropriate sexual contact with her friend 17 year old son, makes people really special for like a week or so and then dumps them, collects friends and destroys their friendships with others. She has to win at everything, so much so that she will read all the answers if she gets anew board game and goes to great lengths to prove shes right about everything. She's put on this effected accent and sounds ridiculous, she has to be the centre of attention all the time.
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It's beyond clear that you don't like her. Most people don't like people who don't like them. It sounds as though you've let her bring out this competitive side of you. That's the only way she can "win"; don't let her manipulate you into hating her. If all this is as you see it, you should feel sorry for her.
Since you have no control over her actions, the idea of discussing boundaries with your wife is first. If she's not harming your daughter, she should be able to spend time with her as long as your daughter's comfortable with it. What does she say about all this?