Originally Posted by snowy

The reverse is that the less successful person is punished for not being successful, not earning as much, or for choosing a career for altruistic reasons instead of strictly monetary ones. We used to do a 50/50 split on expenses before we were married, and I never had money of my own after bills were paid. I had to completely cut out a lot of "feminine" expenses--a nice outfit for a special occasion, makeup, haircuts, etc., because unless he agreed to purchase those things for me, I didn't have money for them. I didn't have money for going out with friends. I could only go out if he was going out too. Now, I have money to go out with friends, regardless of whether he comes along or not. Ultimately, it's a savings for him too--he doesn't have to spend money on me the way he used to, and he feels a lot better about that.

My husband is always going to make more money than I do--it's not a matter of success, it's a matter of the fact that engineers make more money than educators, especially educators in early childhood education. So we've created a system we both like, that we both agree with, and allows us both to have our own spending money to do what we want with. It makes me feel good to be able to pick up the tab once in a while.

Also, I should add that we have a clear chore list and division of labor--whoever works more hours gets to take it easier, and the one who works less picks up the slack at home to make up for the difference in monetary contributions. It's also not hard and fast--I actually made more than he did this month, so I contributed more, and sometimes we both do, if our paychecks are bigger than expected.