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Suzz04 · 12-09-2010, 10:32 AM

no, not at this time she doesn't have the maturity or patience. income is a definite no, but i really want her to finish high school regardless on that part. the daddy will be old enough to take a job to do his part of support.

if she isn't capable of it once the birth happens, then yes, i am willing to raise the child. however, that remains to be seen if she is willing to continue her education. if she's not willing to continue then i have family members who are childless and would love the option to adopt if it was presented. that has been discussed but NOT around the daughter. i don't want her thinking that she has a free out at the end because she decides that it's just too hard and wants to blow the baby off onto someone else then come back later.

if i do raise the child, and she's unwilling to do her part for education and take care of the baby when she's not in school, then adoption to me will come into play.

i'm not telling her the option to adopt straight after birth because i don't want her to think this is a "get out of jail" free card (using the monopoly game card here heh). it remains to be seen if she will gain some maturity and patience within the next few months.

even at my age, when i gave birth, i had developed a bit in that department and still felt unprepared to handle a baby. she was premature but i learned as i went along these years. i still feel that same way when i was trying to have another child a while back. now, i feel if i continue to try that people will come to the thought that "oh she's jealous of the daughter because she's having one before she got to have her second child".

her biggest issue seems to be at the moment she believes daddy's family is going to be oh so helpful. before i divorced, my ex's family spent about 3 days total taking care of her in the 2 years after birth to give me a break to sleep some. i don't know that the daddy's family will actually help, but i'm not counting it ahead of time that it will happen.

12-09-2010, 10:32 AM	#13 (permalink)
Suzz04 Crazy Location: Virginia	no, not at this time she doesn't have the maturity or patience. income is a definite no, but i really want her to finish high school regardless on that part. the daddy will be old enough to take a job to do his part of support. if she isn't capable of it once the birth happens, then yes, i am willing to raise the child. however, that remains to be seen if she is willing to continue her education. if she's not willing to continue then i have family members who are childless and would love the option to adopt if it was presented. that has been discussed but NOT around the daughter. i don't want her thinking that she has a free out at the end because she decides that it's just too hard and wants to blow the baby off onto someone else then come back later. if i do raise the child, and she's unwilling to do her part for education and take care of the baby when she's not in school, then adoption to me will come into play. i'm not telling her the option to adopt straight after birth because i don't want her to think this is a "get out of jail" free card (using the monopoly game card here heh). it remains to be seen if she will gain some maturity and patience within the next few months. even at my age, when i gave birth, i had developed a bit in that department and still felt unprepared to handle a baby. she was premature but i learned as i went along these years. i still feel that same way when i was trying to have another child a while back. now, i feel if i continue to try that people will come to the thought that "oh she's jealous of the daughter because she's having one before she got to have her second child". her biggest issue seems to be at the moment she believes daddy's family is going to be oh so helpful. before i divorced, my ex's family spent about 3 days total taking care of her in the 2 years after birth to give me a break to sleep some. i don't know that the daddy's family will actually help, but i'm not counting it ahead of time that it will happen. __________________ Quantum Cat Theory: Upon hearing the sound of a can being opened, it becomes possible for a cat to travel faster than the speed of light.