Cynthetiq

Dale Carnegie made me more assertive. There's a fine line of assertive to asshole.

You know what doesn't get heard across the table? It's you not saying anything. That's guaranteed 100%. Them not hearing it if you do say it, well it's a small chance that it may happen and they should say, "What? Can you repeat that please?" or something other like that.

Say hello to your coworkers. Say good bye to your coworkers. Spend a few minutes trying to learn about your coworkers via the things on their desks, the books or music you see on their desks. Things they have around them tell you about them. Use those clues to strike up those conversations.

I get what you're saying. I was like that too. I'm like that sometimes. I was like that in my current job. I just did my job and didn't bother to get to know anyone and that made me feel less than everyone else.

But I made a conscious effort to get to know my coworkers. Every day I would talk to them ASIDE from what is required for my job. Something small, something little. All to just bridge that gap. Over time, I've made friends.

We had our Christmas party the other day. I didn't want to go, not just for the social anxiety but I don't drink anymore and it's just annoying to watch other people drink and not be able to when I've had a hard week.

But you know what? I sucked it up and went. I went because it was good for me to do so and get over my own social anxieties.

Here's a small story of what happened that was just strange and reinforces my anxieties.

I was standing with Black and Clint. We were chatting about playing games and LARPs. The president and CEO of the company walked past and Clint said, "Hey Dick! Merry Christmas! How you doing?" Black said, "Hey nice to see you!" I said nothing and had my hands in my pockets by this time.

Dick said,"Hey! Merry Christmas guys!" and he shook both their hands. Dick turned and looked at me and then turned and walked away not saying anything or extending his hand to me.

Now, I know Dick. I have known him for years. My wife talked to him on a regular basis as she worked as an assistant to one of his direct reports. He knows me from my wife.

So, Black and Clint snigger and make comments about how the Asian guy is invisible and how he totally dissed me. I shrugged my shoulder and said I didn't think much of it.

But I did. I was bothered by it, but what could I do now?

Later on that night as I was leaving, I am going down the escalator and I see Dick talking to my wife's old boss. I wave to Dick and Dick waves enthusiastically back to me, making Deb turn around to see who he is waving to. Deb looks at me and says,"Hey Cyn!!! Happy holidays to you!"

And that is why I went to the party....

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.