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soma · 12-06-2010, 07:14 PM

I've been an intern at a big company for about a year now, and I think one of the main reasons I haven't been hired full time is because I don't really mix in with the group. Everyone I work with is really cool and friendly, but they all seem to be on a different wavelength than me. I feel like I get their humor and culture, but I can't participate in it.

I feel so awkward around them and struggle to make conversation whenever I'm around them. I'm analyzing it in my own head and it seems to be stemming from a lack of self confidence. I'd be interested in hearing what you guys think of my behavior.

Here are some situations that illustrate how bad my social skills are:

1. I don't greet my coworkers when I first come in or say good bye when I leave. I'm afraid of not being heard or ignored by other people, so I ignore them and try to lay low. I do act friendly as much as possible, but I still know this rubs people the wrong way.

2. I rarely talk during our lunches together. I sit with about six other guys every day, and usually don't say a word. This is again out of my fear that no one will hear me accross the table, and I'll just feel awkward about it.

3. On the way to lunch and on the way back, I usually pretend to look at my phone for emails and texts and avoid talking to people. This mainly is because I feel uncomfortable talking to them, which makes them feel uncomfortable, which makes me feel bad.

I basically have zero rapport with my coworkers and I'm just starting to realize how bad it is. I want this to change, but I don't know how to go about it.

I wouldn't even dream about approaching a coworkers cube and chat them up. I'd feel like everyone would be listening to me since I never talk, which would explode the amount of anxiety I'd feel.

I want to build rapport with my coworkers so I can bust their chops and shoot the shit. I know this creates a better and happier workplace, and I totally want in on that, I just don't have the foggiest idea how to do this.

tldr: I can't connect with anyone at work because of my awkwardness and need to change for the sake of my career. What can I do?

12-06-2010, 07:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
soma Addict Location: USA	Horrible Social Skills, Need Help I've been an intern at a big company for about a year now, and I think one of the main reasons I haven't been hired full time is because I don't really mix in with the group. Everyone I work with is really cool and friendly, but they all seem to be on a different wavelength than me. I feel like I get their humor and culture, but I can't participate in it. I feel so awkward around them and struggle to make conversation whenever I'm around them. I'm analyzing it in my own head and it seems to be stemming from a lack of self confidence. I'd be interested in hearing what you guys think of my behavior. Here are some situations that illustrate how bad my social skills are: 1. I don't greet my coworkers when I first come in or say good bye when I leave. I'm afraid of not being heard or ignored by other people, so I ignore them and try to lay low. I do act friendly as much as possible, but I still know this rubs people the wrong way. 2. I rarely talk during our lunches together. I sit with about six other guys every day, and usually don't say a word. This is again out of my fear that no one will hear me accross the table, and I'll just feel awkward about it. 3. On the way to lunch and on the way back, I usually pretend to look at my phone for emails and texts and avoid talking to people. This mainly is because I feel uncomfortable talking to them, which makes them feel uncomfortable, which makes me feel bad. I basically have zero rapport with my coworkers and I'm just starting to realize how bad it is. I want this to change, but I don't know how to go about it. I wouldn't even dream about approaching a coworkers cube and chat them up. I'd feel like everyone would be listening to me since I never talk, which would explode the amount of anxiety I'd feel. I want to build rapport with my coworkers so I can bust their chops and shoot the shit. I know this creates a better and happier workplace, and I totally want in on that, I just don't have the foggiest idea how to do this. tldr: I can't connect with anyone at work because of my awkwardness and need to change for the sake of my career. What can I do? __________________ Having Girl Problems?