Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - This is awkward... my girlfriend won't flush the toilet.

Anonymous Member · 12-05-2010, 04:14 AM

(I think this goes in Tilted Life rather than sexuality. It's a sexual relationship, but not about sexual matters.)

I feel like a total weirdo posting this.

My girlfriend of almost two years and I are looking at apartments, planning to move in soon, in the next few months. I live in a small apartment, she lives with her parents.

She doesn't flush the toilet after she pees (just pees).

If she stays at my apartment, I'll go to the bathroom in the morning, and find the toilet yellow with a wad of toilet paper in it, for example. Nine times out of ten, if she's gone to the bathroom at some point before me, I'll walk in to find a wad of toilet paper in the toilet.

This happens at her parents' house too - I'll walk in and it isn't flushed. It's doubly awkward because I don't know if it's just her or her whole family is in on this habit. If it's the whole family, that's weird. And if it's just her, then she clearly has no issue with her father and brother seeing her urine in the toilet. Maybe I'm a prude, but that'd be humiliating for me.

(I can rule out inefficient flushing mechanisms and I've never, ever been faced with this until I met her.)

I'm going to be honest with you, TFP: I'm no prude, I understand bodily processes, but this just grosses me out.

I've asked her (awkwardly) once before why she doesn't flush the toilet and she went red and told me it was because the water pipes were loud in her childhood home and woke up the whole house. That's fine, but that was many years and two houses ago. I asked her if it was a water saving or environmentally conscious thing ('if it's yellow, let it mellow'), and she said it was just the noisy water pipes. But clearly that's habit now, rather than reality.

How do I address this? I can't really claim it's unsanitary (it's a toilet after all). I don't want to nag her or bring up toilet habits with a grown woman.

I don't want to sound like a prude.

But I just don't feel like this should be happening with an adult woman.

Any advice on how I can approach this again?

12-05-2010, 04:14 AM	#1 (permalink)
Anonymous Member Addict	This is awkward... my girlfriend won't flush the toilet. (I think this goes in Tilted Life rather than sexuality. It's a sexual relationship, but not about sexual matters.) I feel like a total weirdo posting this. My girlfriend of almost two years and I are looking at apartments, planning to move in soon, in the next few months. I live in a small apartment, she lives with her parents. She doesn't flush the toilet after she pees (just pees). If she stays at my apartment, I'll go to the bathroom in the morning, and find the toilet yellow with a wad of toilet paper in it, for example. Nine times out of ten, if she's gone to the bathroom at some point before me, I'll walk in to find a wad of toilet paper in the toilet. This happens at her parents' house too - I'll walk in and it isn't flushed. It's doubly awkward because I don't know if it's just her or her whole family is in on this habit. If it's the whole family, that's weird. And if it's just her, then she clearly has no issue with her father and brother seeing her urine in the toilet. Maybe I'm a prude, but that'd be humiliating for me. (I can rule out inefficient flushing mechanisms and I've never, ever been faced with this until I met her.) I'm going to be honest with you, TFP: I'm no prude, I understand bodily processes, but this just grosses me out. I've asked her (awkwardly) once before why she doesn't flush the toilet and she went red and told me it was because the water pipes were loud in her childhood home and woke up the whole house. That's fine, but that was many years and two houses ago. I asked her if it was a water saving or environmentally conscious thing ('if it's yellow, let it mellow'), and she said it was just the noisy water pipes. But clearly that's habit now, rather than reality. How do I address this? I can't really claim it's unsanitary (it's a toilet after all). I don't want to nag her or bring up toilet habits with a grown woman. I don't want to sound like a prude. But I just don't feel like this should be happening with an adult woman. Any advice on how I can approach this again?