Denim, Hope I don't sound like a dick, but Marvin Gaye recorded "Sexual Healing," not Lionel Richie. Plus Marvin Gaye never had that bad geri curl that Lionel was known to sport.
I play drums and when I've set them up in the basement before, I usually go around to my neighbors homes with a letter. I tell them who I am and that I'll be practicing on occasion. If the drums get too loud, or I'm playing them at a bad time, just give me a call. Never had a complaint and I've been plenty loud.
For parties, I agree with sierra, go out to the country. You can be loud as hell and there's always the possiblity of lighting stuff on fire.