I think you need to take little steps here, you won't create your ideal scenario overnight.
Having said that, I will have the same problems. Except for the one where if a girl pulls me onto the bed, I would see that as a positive and good thing. And unless you come up with a really good script, there is no way I would even try to talk dirty. You can thank the repressed childhood for that. I would feel self-conscious and stupid saying a lot of things, even if the girl want to hear it. Small steps with positive reinforcement and asking sexy questions might help.
Does he know what you like, what your boundaries are, and how you will react if he does something wrong?
As for fantasies, he is lying. Every guy has fantasies, but they aren't required to share them with anyone else. One of my fantasies is to have sex with a girl from each continent at the same time, but what benefit would there be of telling you that?
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