jewels

My TFP welcome reminds me that my last log-on was in November, either last year or the previous. Must be that contemplative time of year for many of us. I end up leaving because I feel as though I'm spending way too much time online, but wonder if I underestimated TFP's importance as a necessary substitute for good, cheap therapy.

So I've moved again (sigh) in hopes of things improving, but financial constraints and other scenarios are working overtime to crush my hopes and dreams. I've finally let go of that teeter-totter relationship that was stunting my growth, my girls are doing reasonably well and have been keeping busy enough -- with them, and issues with my parents' aging.

Other than that, I have no life. I'm home sick today but would normally just be waking up and preparing to get ready for work. I work a second shift that gets me home after 1 a.m. and of course leaves me too wound up to hit the bed before 3. I have weekends off, for now, but after chores, errands, doing my nails and those sorts of things, have no time to get involved with anything that allows me to meet or go out with people in my new area.

I'm exhausted, tired, feeling depressed and not as strong and positive as my usual copaface implies. I'd love to go into therapy for some mental massaging, but can't afford the weekly co-pays. Insurance would cover anti-depressants, but I despise that Stepford emotionlessness they bestow upon me. But I refuse to spiral downward.

It would be correct to assume that since I have no truly adult interaction, other than at work, it's natural to feel lonely sometimes. But I don't want that; I want to reconnect with humans. I'm not sure exactly what I'm looking for here, but I know that TFP is full of intelligence and insight, and I think I need to hear some. Hit me.

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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain