Anonymous Member

I'm a guy, in my late 20s. I met my girlfriend (same age) about eighteen months ago and during our initial talks about sex, likes, preferences, etc., she asked me how I feel about oral sex. Some people are uncomfortable with oral sex, find it gross, are self conscious, etc. Neither of us had any hangups about it, she seemed excited as her last boyfriend didn't like giving oral, so everything looked great.

Now I've only had a few partners, two of whom were too self conscious about their bodies and didn't like oral sex at all. I was young and happy to be having sex so no problem there. My longer term partner was happy to receive oral as foreplay and occasionally requested it, but mainly intercourse was our thing.

Anyway, so with my current girlfriend, during the first few months I would occasionally go down on her, we'd be in a 69 position, etc., and things were fine but she would quickly move to intercourse. After few months of that I just stopped going down on her because I began to feel like I was just no good at it, and she was gently allowing me to 'get out of it'. She had (and still has) no problem going down on me.

More recently when I've made moves to go down on her, or asked if she would like me to, she says sexy things like "I'd rather have you inside me!". Other times she would say that she hasn't showered, and basically doesn't feel fresh enough, or that it's a bit sensitive, or that it takes a LONG time for her to orgasm from oral. I've offered to take her advice, or just do it for a few minutes as foreplay, but she'd rather just have sex. (And the sex is great, I should add!)

I have tried to talk to her a few times about it, and each time it's something around not feeling fresh, being too sensitive, taking too long, would rather have me inside her, etc.

Here's where I'd like some advice. I don't know what to believe.

Am I just terrible at giving oral sex? She says I'm not, but she doesn't ever want it - despite initially (when we first started having sex) being really excited to hear that I'm into it, she now doesn't want it.

Is this something that I should keep bringing up? I'd love to have a honest, adult conversation about it, and either have her either teach me what she likes, or perhaps just be totally honest, 'admit' that I suck at it, and that she doesn't need it, and just move on from there, without any deception.

But I don't want to keep raising the issue because I feel like I'm pressuring her to basically engage in a sex act that she doesn't want. It feels selfish to ask her to talk about this, considering she's stated she doesn't want it (for various reasons) and it now seems like it's more for my enjoyment than hers. Oral (well, any sex really) should be fun for both people.

Am I am ass for not really believing her when she says it's too sensitive, not fresh, takes too long, etc? I guess if it were me, I'd say 'Hold that thought, I'll jump in the shower' if i wasn't feeling clean and wanted oral.

Cliff notes:

I feel like I'm terrible at giving my girlfriend oral sex, and that she's just saying things to make me not feel bad, but it's making me feel bad.

Sorry for the massive wall of text.