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Doh. Had a whole post and TFP ate it. argh.
Long story short.... lack of sex in my relationships has always been a symptom of something bigger. Usually in most cases I either work on those issues and the sexual chemistry comes back.. or I find that the chemistry is actually part of the problem and decide its time to move on.
I have found a direct correlation between my confidence in myself and my current circumstances and my interest in sexual partners for enjoyment. 2 years ago I was a trainwreck of a person and no guy would think of touching me with a 30 ft pole. Once I got myself squared away I found my horniness coming back and unquenched just from pleasuring myself.
I have enjoyed great friends with benefits and also sex with committed partners. Both have their pros and cons... but I find that I must always always be attracted to someone with an intelligent brain to even feel any interest, FWB or otherwise. That has been the discriminating factor for me in most cases - finding guys who are not afraid of an intelligent woman who will challenge them. I refuse to play dumb and innocent to get laid. If they pass that first test, bring it on!
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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna
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